How do I Pray?

This is my contribution to a Synchroblog hosted by Decompressing Faith entitled, “How do Your Pray?” Erin has a list of contributors and as I read the posts I will be adding the links to the end of this post as well.

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As a child, there were no bedtime prayers to lull me to sleep, no blessings said over our meals each day. Prayer was relegated to the church building and mostly the drone of Wednesday night prayer meeting. I remember being told many times that we didn’t question God … most vividly as an eight year old child, mourning the death of my favorite cousin who was killed in a terrible car accident at the age of eighteen; the passenger was thrown from the car and survived. When I questioned why Steve had to be the one to die, my feelings were cut short with a curt, “we don’t ask God why.” Hhhmm, that is probably why talking with God never interested me much. If I couldn’t ask Him questions, what was the point?

Moving into adulthood, with a young family, prayer became the elusive element of my life that never seemed to measure up. Those were the years full of prayer formulas like A.C.T.S. (does anyone have to be told that is the “correct” way to pray … Adoration, then Confession, then Thanksgiving, then and only then Supplication). Books burdened my shelves … Prayers that Avail Much, Power of a Praying Parent/Wife, Guide to Spiritual Warfare. I was obsessed with learning how to pray. It was an indicator of my spiritual walk …”How’s your prayer life?” and if things weren’t going well, then I must not have been praying enough or well enough. Mostly I felt like a failure especially when life just was difficult and the incantations of prayer were not delivering the results I sought.

Prayer was one of the first things I rejected when I began my spiritual transformation about four years ago. When I became aware that my efforts meant nothing, then I gave up. A long season of silence followed. I didn’t know how to talk to God, so I didn’t. I don’t even remember doing much listening during that time either. It was just a wilderness of wandering.

After my father died in 2004, I longed to communicate with God, to work through my emotions but I couldn’t figure out how to be with Him. There was so much awkwardness in my trying to return to prayer. Little did I know how much God was preparing to teach me. Somehow I stumbled across an online resource for Phyllis Tickle’s Divine Hours. I didn’t grow up in a liturgical church and had no knowledge of this type of praying. But I was inexplicably drawn to these fixed hour prayers. I began to stop morning, afternoon and evening and utter the prayers from my computer screen. An amazing transformation began. For the first time, I became aware of the body global praying …

OUR Father, give US this day OUR daily bread, Forgive US OUR sins, as WE forgive, Lead US not into temptation,, Deliver US from Evil,

I realized the power of the whole body praying in unity, the same prayers, the same requests … prayers that have been spoken for hundreds and hundreds of years. It was astounding how the prescribed prayers would be so relevant to my immediate need in the moment.

The door squeaked open during that year and ushered me to the next step of renewing my communion with the Lord. I spent then a season practicing contemplative prayer, alone and with a group. Taking the time to really listen to the Spirit of God as He leads our prayers is an amazing practice. God revealed such specific things during those prayer sessions and life giving words were spoken over many people. The rhema word of God flowed through our prayers.

Soon, I became aware that I had begun to talk to God all the time. My thoughts were just constantly with Him and I fell into and out of prayer as easy as having a phone conversation with my best friend. There is nothing off limits in our conversations now … I question, I laugh, I yell, I listen. God is teaching me that most things I do are an avenue to communicating with him. When I hear a song that expresses my heart, I may sing for awhile, but soon, my notes turn into prayers. Many times, I am then led to my art table and I paint and cut and glue until I am done talking to God about whatever is weighing down my soul. Journaling my conversations with God has given me a beautiful reminder of sweet communion with my Lord. I love to talk to God when I am walking and when I am driving. Those are the rare moments when I am alone and He usually gets an unedited raw version of me during those times.

As I have enjoyed this new intimacy with the Lord, I am still drawn to that global element and to the silence of contemplative prayers. I have quit trying to force myself to stay with one thing as the “right” way. I am learning to just listen to my heart and let His spirit lead me to whatever form of prayer is needed for that moment … whether it is back to the Divine Hours or meditating on scripture and journaling the thoughts that rise or picking up the paint brush.

It is a sweet taste of freedom to experience this divine conversation with the Creator. The rules that humans try to attach to it nearly destroy the life sustaining power that is found in prayer. It is much more nourishing to listen to the Spirit that resides in the heart and follow accordingly. Oh … and God doesn’t mind my questions at all.

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Visit other How do I Pray participants:

Cindy Bryan Teach Me to Pray…Again?
Lyn Hallewell God, Prayer and Me
Erin Word Prayer=Sex with God
Rick Meigs Prayer Helps that Get Me Deeper
Alan Knox Pray without Ceasing
Julie Clawson Prayer Synchroblog
Heather Synchroblog Prayer
Alex (Heather’s Husband) Prayer Synchroblog II
Lydia How Do You Pray
Che Vachon My Thoughts…
Paul Mayers Praying and Learning to Pray Again
Sonja Andrews The Appearance of Holiness
Jon Peres How Do I Pray?
Paul Walker One Congregation Experiments with Emerging Prayer
Susan Barnes Synchroblog: How Do You Pray?
Brother Maynard Fear Not the Silence
Nate Peres How Do I Pray?
Barry Taylor Synchroblog:How Do You Pray?
Emerging Grace Clearance Sale on Intercession Books
Jim Lehmer Synchroblog – How Do You Pray?
Lew A How Do You Pray? – Synchroblog
Jon Hallewell When I’m Spoken To
Deb Prayer Synchroblog
Barb Prayer without Throwing Things
Patti Blount How Do I Pray
Doug Jones How I Pray
Glenn Hagar Prayer Phases
Pam Hogeweide The Art of Blue Tape Spirituality
Mary How Do I Pray?
Rhonda Mitchell Prayer SynchroBlog
John Smulo Praying Naturally
Rachel Warwick How Do You Pray?
Barbara Legere How to Not Pray
Jonathan Brink Posture – Sitting With My Daddy
Andy How Do I Pray
Cynthia Clack How Do I Pray
Makeesha Fisher The Mystery of Prayer
Kathryn
Joy
Michael Holcomb

Talking to the Father . . .

Related Tags: Prayer, Decompressing Faith, Praying

~ by Cynthia on August 28, 2007.